The Time-Ape Continuum

Viewers, we hang our remotes in shame. Last Sunday night we neglected to watch NBC's latest barn-burner "XIII," starring the future governor of New Mexico and that guy who plays golf on his knees, despite our most earnest intentions. Why? Because the good people over at the C-Dub were showing Teen Wolf, that's why! Listen up, 30 Rock office-dwellers: the other guys are bringing out the big guns. You can't afford to trot out any old Roman-numeral caper you've got lying around anymore, savvy? You've got to "up your game" in the parlance of the competition show. And what better way to "outfox" the other guys than with this:

Silverback to the Future
A renegade scientist (Michael Cerveris), convinced that the cure for a worldwide plague epidemic lies in mankind's Neanderthal past, sends his most capable test subject–McFly, a silverback gorilla, carrying some Neanderthal genes–back to the prehistoric era. Now, the primate must blend in with his distant ancestors, while discovering the secret to the salvation (and, perhaps, the origin) of humanity. McFly must also contend with the leader of a vicious band of Homo Sapiens (Lance Henriksen), who has his own ideas about the course of evolution.

Tagline: Survival of the fittest just got a lot more complicated.

Now the work begins

Now that the fires kindled by rhetoric have had some time to cool, it's time to take a square, pragmatic look at our situation. What are the facts? NBC is beyond desperate for new shows; a monkey show at the very least could generate a bump in Internet buzz; therefore NBC could be convinced to mount a simian series in the near future. (For the record, we here at NBCMS are quite excited over the Peacock Network's forthcoming "movie event" "The Last Templar.")
But now to the sticking point: how will we manage this thing? For though we have some minor connections in the mass media, television folk we most certainly are not. But it is our Chicago hope that some executive at 30 Rock (the address, not the show, though someone from the latter would be welcome as well,) will stumble across this campaign whilst maniacally trolling for new material, validation, or open bar listings. And in preparation for just that august, genre-defining moment, we will gradually compile a roster, a veritable Seattle Slew, of open-source monkey-show pitches, free for the taking. (We also welcome any underemployed writers willing to run with any of the concepts that will appear herein, though we could be convinced to act as consultants.) So without further ado, on with the show.

Monkey See, Frankie Do
An elderly yet still virile private investigator, Frankie Mencken (Rutger Hauer), blinded in a mysterious accident and violently phobic of dogs, reluctantly accepts the aid of an unusually expressive seeing-eye chimp. Will this set-in-his ways curmudgeon adjust to his new life and his new best friend? And together, will they be able to solve the murders, corruption and delusion that surround them in 1960s Berkley? No one will see what's coming in this comedy-action-mystery hourlong adventure.

Tagline: This monkey sees plenty of evil. And Frankie's gonna stop it!