Ape-ril is the Cruelest Monk

We're going to break rank for a bit, and talk about a show from an intellectually bankrupt network OTHER than NBC–the curiously successful folks over at CBS. Last week, in honor of April Fools' Day and a huge void in their weeknight lineup, the Eye ran show entitled "I Get That a Lot," which hit upon the savory ruse of employing semi-celebrities in menial jobs, who, when they're recognized by the hoi polloi–here's the kicker–DENY that they are in fact their desperate, attention-starved selves, vainly propping up their wounded egos at the expense of a gullible public.
One can only imagine the earth-shaking lunacy of encountering Jeff Probst bagging goods at the local greengrocer:

"Dude, you're on 'Survivor' or something!"
"I get that a lot!"
"No way!...Ah fuck it, just watch it with those cage-free eggs, all right, chief?"

Now there's one obvious way to increase the hilarity factor here: replace the celebrities with apes. (This is a rule that can be followed with pretty much everything.) When a baffled customer complains about the simian staff, the other employees would, of course, pretend that the ape is in fact a human being, who is most definitely not eating the bananas, smearing feces on the produce scale and trying on the adult diapers. THEN we'd have some compelling shenanigans.

Capuchin That Wheel!

There's been a modicum of talk circulating recently to the effect that cash-poor, idea-bankrupt broadcast networks will need to rely on relatively cheap reality and game show fare to fill the programming void in the foreseeable future. Of course, our position is that by green-lighting one of the fabulous fictional enterprises compiled on this site, networks will create a virtual cash machine that will last generations. But, to prove that we can roll with the times if we have to:

Deal or Bonobo Deal
This would be identical to Howie Mandel's avaricious monument, only the hot models would be replaced by ornery bonobos. And the briefcases they carry would be full of their poop, not money. Hosted by Howie Mandel