My Kingdom For a Monkey

Well, it's been quite a fortnight. First we were sent reeling with the news that "Kings" not only involved a real kingdom, but a real kingdom BASED ON A BIBLE STORY, only to have the coup de grace come in the form of "Kings" actually being a VERY GOOD SHOW. Of course, NBC promoted it like a cross between "Dallas" and "Models, Inc." (with just a winsome dash of "Cruesoe," so no surprise: it tanked in the ratings and probably won't last the quarter, alas. Here's a surefire winner no matter how you market it.

Rhesus's Pieces
A burned-out homicide detective, Zebulon Pike (Dermot Mulroney) discovers a second chance: an autistic rhesus monkey with the uncanny ability to pick out pertinent clues, no matter how mundane or minute, from any murder scene. With the help of his sister (Anna Faris), a professor studying animal sign language, Zeb races against time to interpret the clues and catch the killer.

Tagline: Some crimes are a real monkey puzzle.

Capuchin That Wheel!

There's been a modicum of talk circulating recently to the effect that cash-poor, idea-bankrupt broadcast networks will need to rely on relatively cheap reality and game show fare to fill the programming void in the foreseeable future. Of course, our position is that by green-lighting one of the fabulous fictional enterprises compiled on this site, networks will create a virtual cash machine that will last generations. But, to prove that we can roll with the times if we have to:

Deal or Bonobo Deal
This would be identical to Howie Mandel's avaricious monument, only the hot models would be replaced by ornery bonobos. And the briefcases they carry would be full of their poop, not money. Hosted by Howie Mandel